I was missing in action for a really really long time.
The biggest battle of the year is over.
I'm done with studying my head off.
I hope I did not screw my BM, Science and KH.
I'm even done with my love life.
I don't know what to blog about. I've not been blogging for such a long time that I don't know where to start now.
Throughout these few months, a lot of stuffs happened.
And somehow, I feel the change in me. I'm changing into a worse person. I don't know why but I seriously feel like I'm going the wrong way.
First, every year God makes me meet a new friend. As in, someone whom I can get close with.
It has been like this for quite some time. After the last one left, always comes a new one.
And then I started talking to this one, whom I met few times but I did not notice.
But there's just something that is holding me back from opening up to this fella.
I don't know what is that. But, I don't wanna lose this fella.
Then, I'm jealous of one of my best friend. That is so not me. I feel like slapping myself.
Second, one of my friend ain't talking to me. I don't know what happened or what's wrong with her.
But seriously, you can just tell me FACE to FACE.
I'm darn disappointed. I tried to be nice. I was patient enough I know that. I accepted you as a friend. But you just wouldn't change, will you?
THIRD, why must people always differentiate between each other?
Ever since I dropped to Oriole class, I've started seeing some REAL faces of some people.
I don't want to mention those people are from which class but you might know and I don't care.
One thing I never want to do is comparing my results and telling people how much I got for exams. 'Cause I know THOSE who are in classes above Oriole will start GOSSIPING if they know ORIOLE people get higher marks than them.
Get a live people. =.=
FOURTH, a good news. The problem with one of my best best best friend is over! =D That's the only thing I'm happy about. 'Cause the days without him were MISERABLE. I couldn't tell anyone, except God what was happening to me, and what was wrong and stuffs. And now I can tell him. =D *SMILES*
Fifth, I've been really messed up these few weeks. I don't feel like I'm myself. I get angry easily. I get upset easily. And....sometimes, I cry myself to sleep. I may look happy and calm in school, I may wear a smile everyday, but on the inside, I'm not what I look on the outside.
I gotta grow up and be strong, cause soon, I'll have no one to rely on. I just wish I have the strength.
Everything seems to be falling apart. Thou' I really don't know what to do. I realised I'm keeping myself away from people, especially that someone whom I don't wanna lose.
I don't want my own problems to effect the friendship between us. I just couldn't stay away.
Omygosh I really don't know what to do. . .
then why is money more important?
if love means everything,
then why are they still leaving?
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